Dont Tell The Mugger

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

Best Its So Hot Jokes

Its SO HOT outside that . . .
Squirrels are pouring Gatorade on their nuts
It was so hot today Lance Armstrong tested positive for Snapple.
Somewhere in the US a corn stalk turns into to popcorn
About a hundred more good ones on how hot is it at
http://www.yooohaaa.com/humor/itssohotjokes.htm

Teacher Humor - The Lifesaver Experiment

Teacher Humor ..Lifesavers ... The candy with the hole.

A teacher was conducting an experiment on identification with lifesavers as to whether or not students could identify flavors.  When the teacher used a honey lifesaver as the flavor, nobody could identify the flavor.  So to give them a hint, the teacher said "it's something your parents might call each other."  "Oh my goodness," exclaimed one of the students, "they're assholes."