How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;"
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;"
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;"
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;"
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;"
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner 'Bulb Accomplished';"
7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole time;"
8. One to viciously smear No. 7;"
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;"
10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference betweenscrewing a light bulb and screwing the country."