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In an effort to make the Bush environmental record look good, Interior Secretary Gale Norton announced that under the Bush administration, there are now more wetlands than any time since 1954. Well yeah, if you count New Orleans. Jay Leno
To err is human, but screwing up things royally requires a computer.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. --Mark Twain
When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine that he is that polite all the time. --Edgar Watson Howe
Better by far that you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.
Flattery is all right--if you do not inhale.
Someday, hon, we'll look back on this mortgage and laugh. Thirty years from now, to be exact.
Doctor to patient: You should consider leaving the IRS. I don't get a heartbeat anymore.
I just threatened to run away, you don't have to pack my bags, mom!