Hollywood Squares

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES (REMEMBER?)




If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this
may
bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
from the
days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous
and
clever; not scripted and they were never dull, as they are now.
Peter
Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.



Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.



Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should you
be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.



Q. True or False: A pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.



Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a
man or a
woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.



Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you
think

that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married?

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.



Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.



Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love
You"?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.



Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands
while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give
you a gesture you'll never forget.



Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.



Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going to get
any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.



Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.



Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps.
One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.



Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.



Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.



Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose
do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?



Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.



Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting
into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.



Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is
it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't
neglected.



Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head,
what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.



Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or
your
elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?



Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.



Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in
them
and has

actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.



Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.