Super Bowl Ads We'd Like to See
5> Campbell's Chunky Soup: For a solid minute, Donovan McNabb's
mom slaps the holy crap out of Terrell Owens.
4> Capital One: "If a million people sign up for the new Capital
One Visa by halftime, we'll have our barbarians eviscerate
David Spade and that whiny, chubby twerp live on the
50-yard line during the last two-minute warning."
3> Moveon.org: A tearful George W. Bush, in full cowboy attire,
hugs a barrel of oil and says, "God, I wish I knew how to
2> Pepto-Bismol: "Hi, this is John Madden. Let's talk about
1> Depend undergarments: "I'm John Elway. It's tough getting the
piss knocked out of you on national TV -- but nobody has to
know." (Close up of Elway's stain-free crotch as he gets up
from being sacked. He looks down, then smiles and winks.)